


Youtube and LGBTQ+

by BlxkeVoid



Series: Sam and Colby Fics [7]
Category: Sam and Colby
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bi!Colby, Coming Out, Corey Scherer is kinda a bad guy im sorry, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Other, Protective Aaron Doh, Protective Elton Castee, Protective Jake Webber, Protective Sam Golbach, Trans!Colby, top surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlxkeVoid/pseuds/BlxkeVoid
Summary: He's always had an excuse for why he couldn't take off his shirt during hikes like Sam or Brennen. Sam knew why, and of course, Brennen did. Nobody else knew the truth. The excuse was always that he had a pretty gnarly scar from a bike accident when he was younger than made him insecure. Nobody questioned that.In reality, it was because he was trans, and he was scared for people to know because of what it was like in high school.
Relationships: Colby Brock/Aaron Doh, Colby Brock/Brennen Taylor, Colby Brock/Corey Scherer, Colby Brock/Elton Castee, Colby Brock/Jake Webber, Colby Brock/Sam Golbach, Corey Scherer/Devyn Lundy, Jake Webber/Tarayummy, Sam Golbach/Katrina Stuart
Series: Sam and Colby Fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687621
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Youtube and LGBTQ+

**Author's Note:**

> If I see any fucking hate on the LGBT community or this idea at all your comment will be fucking deleted. Simple as that.

\------  
COLBY  
\------  
I woke up to my alarm going off, I groaned and shut it off. Brennen pulled me closer to him making me laugh a little bit, "Ten more minutes," he mumbled. 

I sighed, "I should probably get back to the house. Elton said he had something coming in to film a video with and asked Sam and me to be in it. It's some pool video. I need to go and find my swimming binder," I explained. 

"It's in my desk drawer. You left it here last time we went to the beach so I cleaned it for you," he said. "Now ten more minutes," he stated bluntly. 

I laughed and turned to look at him, "I am going to go shower," I said and got up, earning a fake cry from him. 

I went into the bathroom and slowly started getting undressed. I kept my eyes away from the mirror, I never ever wanted to look. It'd make my dysphoria skyrocket, which in return would make my mental state drop. I finished getting undressed and I went to go through my clothes on the counter and my eyes went directly to the mirror. I hated the fucking body I was born with. I hated the fact I had a chest, the little scars all over them from me trying to perform top surgery at home before getting caught by someone. The scars going up and down the sides of my body. My torso was littered with scars, which I grew to despise and wish I had never done what I did. But Brennen would say he loved the scars, that they showed how strong I was and how much I had been through. It'd help whenever they'd get to me or my shirt would lift up and someone would ask if I had them. I never wanted the fans to know just how much I struggled, I didn't want to seem weak. Only Sam and Brennen, and my family, of course, knew I was trans. Everyone else just thought I had a scar from a pretty bad bike accident as a kid that I was insecure about. 

Thankfully hormone shots changed my voice and body shape enough to be able to pass very easily as a guy. Nobody ever asked if I was trans, and I was open about being gay because I didn't want to hide Brennen and I's relationship. All the fans had this vision of me as this amazing, spectacular, muscular man that could protect them from anything. When in reality I was struggling day in and day out to protect myself, I couldn't look in a mirror without clothes and a binder on. I didn't want to ruin that vision of me for them. Plus I had no idea how'd they react. Would they accept me like my family, Sam, and Brennen or attack me like kids in high school did. It was a constant fear that one of them would release the information that I was trans before I was ready to out myself. 

I knew I'd have to do it soon since my top surgery was coming up fast. Something I couldn't fucking wait for. I'd have to take it easy for about four to six weeks, whichever the doctor says which means a major pause on any exploration or crazy videos. Plus I know I won't want to wear a shirt ever and they'd be able to see the scars. I was taken out of my thoughts by Brennen knocking on the door.

"Babe?" he said. "Are you okay? You've been in there for like five minutes without actually showering. That's not like you," he stated. 

I took a shaky breath, "I-I'm okay. Can you do me a favor though?" I asked. "Can you uh like cover or turn around any mirrors you have till I leave?"

"Of course," he said, "I'll get started on breakfast too."

I stepped into the shower, quickly washed everything, then stepped out. When I stepped out the mirror was covered by a large towel, I hadn't even heard him come in. I slipped back into my binder, put on a pair of boxers, clean jeans, then stepped out realizing I forgot a shirt. I started looking for one of Brenne's sweatshirts when he walked in. He handed me one of his favorites, "Thanks," I said and slipped it on. 

"What happened babe?" he asked. "You don't usually ask me to cover all the mirrors unless you're dysphoria skyrockets."

I let out a shaky sigh, "I looked in the mirror," I said and he nodded. "The surgery day really needs to get here quicker," I said and he wiped a couple of tears off my face. 

"It's a week away. If need be, to make the days go by faster, we'll go do something fun every single day. Whether it be exploring, just normal hiking, or the beach," he said and kissed my forehead, "You can just sleep over here."

I nodded and my phone started ringing, "Hello?" I said. 

"Hey, where are you?" Sam asked he sounded worried. 

"I'm at Brennen's. What's wrong?" I asked. 

He let out a sigh, "Do you remember the kid named Tyler from our senior year?" he asked. "Well let's just say he's back. And he messaged me saying how jealous that a, and this is his wording, a trans girl could have more fans than he could and he'd change that," he explained. "He leaked the school records and everything of you dude. He leaked your deadname, the emails between the teachers and your parents about you being trans from sophomore year. Apparently his new girl works at our high school and got them somehow."

My heart dropped, "W-Where did he post it?" I asked. 

"Twitter, Instagram, tagged you in all of it. Tagged different fan pages of ours. Tagged all of our friends," he said. "It's already trending on Twitter."

I hung up and Brennen was staring at me, "Baby, what happened?" he asked. "You're pale."

It felt like everything was closing in on me and I couldn't catch my breath. I heard Brennen's phone ringing and jumped because it was so loud. He answered it and I guessed it must've been Sam. As they were talking I quickly got my shoes on and ran to my car. I took off. I needed to escape, I felt sick to my stomach and ended up pulling over to throw up. I continued driving and my phone was blowing up the entire time. I ended up hiking on a trail and ended up on a cliff. It looked like it was a park but it was empty. I sat on a beach and my phone continued to blow up. I looked to see it was Sam, Brennen, Elton, and Jake. Brennen's name popped up as he tried to call me again. 

I answered, "I'm okay," I said. 

"Where are you?" he asked. "We're all out looking for you baby."

"Some park. I don't know. I went hiking. I'll turn on my snap location for you," I said and turned it on, "I'm sorry for worrying you all. Did Sam tell you what happened?"

"Yeah. We're on our way okay? Stay where you are," he said. "I'm serious. It's gonna be okay."

"Okay," I said and hung up. I laid down on the bench and watched the clouds slowly go past. I uninstalled Twitter and Instagram because I was getting nonstop notifications. I heard footsteps in the dirt and I looked to see Sam, Brennen, Elton, Jake, and Kat walking towards me, "Wow I should feel special. A whole crowd," I said with a small laugh. 

In reality, I wanted to break down and just cry, "How are you doing bud?" Elton asked. 

I realized Corey wasn't with, "Where's Corey?" I asked. 

They looked at each other, "Corey made his choice," Brennen said. I gave them all a confused look, "He said he doesn't want to be in the same house as a trans person anymore. He's staying with a friend until he finds a place according to Devyn. Devyn said she's sorry on his behalf, and she'll get his stuff out once she gets back from her trip."

Brennen crouched down in front of me. I could see the worry in his eyes, "H-How bad is it?" I asked. 

"It'll be okay," Sam said, and that was enough. 

I broke down in tears. 

\--------  
BRENNEN  
\--------  
I took Colby into a hug instantly and ended up picking him up. We got Elton to drive his car back to the house and I carried Colby to my car. We all headed back to their house. When we got there Corey was walking out with some bags. Colby didn't want to walk so I picked him up out of the car and we headed inside, "You know Colby, that isn't something you fucking hide from people," Corey said all of a sudden, "You're fucked up for hiding it."

"Could you shut the hell up?" Elton snapped. "Seriously. Get your shit and go Corey. We don't fucking want a judgemental bitch here."

Corey threw his stuff into his car then drove off. Colby started crying again and I just held him closer. I took him to his room and laid him down, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I covered him up and headed downstairs, "Keep an eye on him, please. I'm going to run back to my place and grab some clothes and anything he might've left," I said and they nodded. 

I got into my car and drove off. I grabbed a bag, threw some clothes into it. I grabbed his phone charger and his bag then went to get some Tender Greens for everyone. I was standing in line when someone tapped my shoulder, "Hi, you're Brennen Taylor right?" a girl asked and I nodded. "I'm a fan. Could I get a picture?" she asked and I nodded again. We posted, took the picture, then she turned to me, "Is it true? About Colby?" she asked. 

I sighed, "Look, thank you for your support. But that's not something you can ask," I said. My order came out, "It was a pleasure meeting you, have a good day," I said and got into my car. 

I got back to the house and Colby was curled up on the couch, "Foods here!" Elton called upstairs to Aaron, Kat, and Sam once he saw me. 

I sat it on the kitchen counter then went over to Colby, "Hey Colbs. Are you hungry?" I asked him and he shook his head. "Okay well, can you at least try to eat something small? You haven't eaten at all today, and you gotta stay healthy for next week."

"Okay," he said quietly and sat up. I went into the kitchen and grabbed him a plate. Once it had some food on it I handed it to him, "Our manager wants me to make a coming-out video." We all looked at him, "She had messaged me. It's why I woke up. She said it's the best course of action since it's true."

"Do you want to do that?" Jake asked. 

Colby nodded slowly, "I mean, I planned too one day anyways," he said. "I hate that I have to do it cause that jackass outted me."

"How about tomorrow?" Elton said. "We can all be there. Honestly, we just make it something simple like maybe we're doing a pool video or something, I can get an inflatable slide and you just take off your shirt. You wear a binder right?" Colby nodded, "If fans see that then that's enough. Or maybe you can add something onto it at the end of the video."

"I think that's a great idea," Aaron said. "We'll all be there for you in case you get scared."

"None of you have seen me without a shirt on. Only Sam and Brennen have," Colby said and sat his plate down. 

"Where are you going?" I asked. 

He shook his head, "N-Nowhere," he said. "I'm doing something." I realized what he was doing as he gripped the hem of his shirt. He lifted it up and took it off, leaving him just in his binder, "T-There's no scar from a bike accident. It was so I wouldn't have to tell you all. The little scars are, um, self-harm basically," he explained. 

"I see that working out has been working," Elton said, "You have baby abs," he said with a laugh. 

I saw a confused expression appear on Colby's face, "You guys don't mind the scars or the fact I have a chest?"

"Why would we?" Tara said. "You hid it in fear. Sam told us about your high school life while you were asleep," she explained. "We love you for you Colby. Not how you were born, how you identify."

He put his shirt back on, "I wanna do the video that way. Elton, would you mind doing those really cool shots as you do in the send it promotions?" 

Elton smiled, "Not at all," he said. 

We ate and ended up all going to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night for some reason and realized Colby was no longer in bed. I heard the shower going and got up and knocked, "Colbs? You okay?" I asked. 

The door cracked open, "Yeah," he said. "I just needed to relax. I had a bad dream," he explained. He opened the door fully and I realized he was without his binder or a shirt. I covered my eyes because he said he didn't want me to see his "girl body". "It's okay," he said, "I opened the door on purpose. I have pants on."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "We've been dating for what? Almost a year now. You've never ever wanted me to see you without at least a shirt on."

"I'm sure," he said. 

I uncovered my eyes and looked. Nothing was really different to me, "I never knew you had that tattoo," I said and pointed to the one over his heart, "When the hell did you get that?"

"A few months ago," he said with a small laugh then he slipped on a shirt, "Let's get back to bed."

I nodded and we laid down. The next day we woke up and instantly all started getting ready. Kat, Tara, and Elton came over. We were setting up everything and I noticed Colby was oddly quiet, "It's gonna be okay baby," I said, "You know, whatever happens, you've got all of us to back you up."

He nodded and he went inside to get changed. I was already in my shorts so I finished helping Elton set up the cameras. Colby came out and he nodded. 

\------  
COLBY  
\------  
We started filming and soon I could tell they forget we were filming. We were jumping around and doing stunts on the inflatable slide Elton had rented out. I knew I had to get the courage to take off my shirt, but it was so fucking hard to find it. I still had no idea how people were reacting online since I hadn't reinstalled everything on my phone. Brennen and I locked eyes and he smiled then gave me a thumbs up. I got a burst of courage and took off my shirt then went to the slide and jumped off of it. After another hour or two of swimming, I got out while the others kept going. I headed inside, showered, and got dressed. 

I set up the camera and sat down at my desk. I took a deep breath and hit record, "Hi guys," I started. "I know as most of you saw on social media, a man named Tyler leaked my old school records and emails between the school and my parents about me being transgender. And it's true. I was born as Colleen Taylor Brock. A few months after Sam and I met I realized I was gay, and then I realized I was trans. I told my parents and they were accepting," I continued. "Sam was my rock throughout all of high school. I hope you can forgive me for not telling you. Tyler, along with many others, constantly bullied me for being trans. I was terrified. Only Sam, his family, Brennen, and my family knew I am trans. But now I'm ready for the whole world to know," I said. I took another deep breath, "I understand some of you guys won't accept this. I know some of you were brought up being told it was wrong. And that's fine, but I am begging you all to just unsubscribe and leave. And I know you all had this image of me, and I'm sorry I'm not that guy you thought I was."

"But he's still an amazing guy," Brennen said and I turned to see him walking in, "And if I see any of you fuckers come after him for being him, I'll personally kick your ass. And as for you Tyler, cause I know you're gonna watch this, fuck you and I hope you get a life. Because you didn't ruin Colby's. You failed to realize he has a whole group backing him up."

I smiled, "Next week I am getting top surgery to remove my chest. I'll be outta commission for up to six weeks, depending on what the doctor says. If you want me to record that journey let me know. I'll still be able to do chill and relaxed videos, but nothing crazy like exploring or dares," I explained. I looked right into the camera, "My name is Cole Robert Brock, and I am a female-to-male transgender individual."

I hit the record button again to end it and let out a shaky breath, "I am so fucking proud of you baby," Brennen said. 

I sent the clip to Elton, who said it'd be an honor to edit it, and we went downstairs to play video games after Brennen got showered. The next the video was posted and I reinstalled everything. I got overwhelmingly positive feedback. People were telling me how it didn't change out they viewed me, how other people were able to have more of a connection with me. There were a few hate comments so we just blocked those accounts. I ended up trending on Twitter once again. I lost about 1,000 subscribers, but I didn't care. Then a week passed and the top surgery came. 

I was resting on the couch watching TV with Brennen, Sam, and Jake when there was a knock on the door. Sam went to go answer it and he came back with Corey in tow, "What the fuck are you doing here?" Brennen said, getting up quickly. 

"Brennen, calm down," I said and grabbed his hand.

"I'm here to say I'm sorry Colby," Corey said. "I shouldn't have reacted that way. It was fucked up and immature of me. I was just pissed because you hid it from us. I never hated the fact you were trans. My wording just came out wrong because I was so angry. So I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I shrugged, "It's okay," I said. "You realized your mistake and apologized. That's something nobody has ever done after they send hate towards me for being me."

"I saw your video. I didn't know that's why you didn't tell us," he said. 

"Come play Rocket League with me," I said and lifted up the second controller. 

Corey smiled and walked over. A few weeks passed and Brennen and I were heading to the grand reveal. We had brought the camera with us. We had recorded me going into and coming out of surgery, the trip home, and every now and again between. When we arrived my heart was racing. We walked inside and after a while of waiting was taken back. The doctor and I talked for a bit then had me sit back. It took about ten minutes to get everything off and Brennen helped me off the table. I walked over to the mirror they had and looked at my reflection. I was one step closer to the body I had. Tears started falling. 

"What do you think, Mr.Brock? Is it what you expected?" the doctor asked. 

I nodded, "It's better than I expected," I said. "I mean my tattoo isn't even messed up."

"Now Elton's gonna put you on new workouts," Brennen said, "He's gonna want you to."

I smiled, "And I'm perfectly okay with that."

After a while more of talking and given another two weeks of strict rest, we headed home. When we got home I showed everyone. After the two weeks passed we decided to go exploring. We got to a park we had a two-mile hike to get done at. It was hot and we kept getting lost, so those two hours became four. Without thinking I took off my shirt and when I realized what happened I smiled to myself and continued walking. 

Sure, that wasn't how I wanted to come out, but it what fate had planned for me. And I honestly wouldn't change it.


End file.
